As within, so without: Why the relationship we have with ourselves is key
Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
This past week while I was working on my computer, I went through a post about communication. I was intrigued. How we communicate in general impacts our overall energy and chemistry. In reading the page, I instantly connected with two terms: Our intrapersonal and our interpersonal relationships. They both impact our performance.
Our intrapersonal relationship is the relationship we have with ourselves. In this relationship, our self-talk, or “narrative,” is key. This includes what we think, what we imagine, and how we see our world. All our senses play a big role as well here: the colors we see, the scents we smell, the sounds we hear, etc.
What influences our intrapersonal relationship?
Looking inward: How you see yourself in relationship with others when it comes to your beliefs, your values, and your attitude.
Looking outward: Our perception of the world is correlated to our values and beliefs. It impacts our understanding of our immediate reality. And how we relate to it.
Looking to the future: These messages are rooted in our story and they create expectations. In this way, our inner message impacts our relationship to our long-term goals.
Interpersonal communication, in contrast, is the communication we have with others. How we exchange information, how we express our feelings when we are interacting with someone else. The words we use and the non-verbal language we show in those interactions all play a role. In this type of communication what we say and what we don’t say has value, and they are often shown through gestures of our body and our face.
Our interpersonal skills reveal:
* The way we connect and relate to others
* How we lead and influence others
* Our ability to act
* Our capacity to use humor
* Our ability to connect with the power within ourselves and to connect with the power in others
* Our awareness to observe and anticipate other’s behaviors and actions
* Our ability to make decisions and take risks
Some important questions: In those moments that we are about to communicate with others, what is our self-talk telling us? Are we feeling in conflict or we are calm? How do we choose to show up? Are we able to reflect and listen to our insights? Then, when we are interacting with others, how is our behavior connected with our values? Is our behavior in line with our long-term goals or we are self-sabotaging without knowing we are doing this?
In these moments, perspective is everything for me. Like you, I am another person in this world that is vulnerable and that makes mistakes. Like everyone, I am naturally triggered by events and am very transparent when I feel I am violating my values and beliefs—or when I’m challenged. What I do know is that awareness is key and that applies for you and also for me. Perspective is what usually helps me connect with my desired mindset and also with my objective, goal or grand plan. By lacking of awareness, we lose perspective.
Perform like an athlete in those moments you are triggered and understand that practice is what will help you make it to the finish line of being your best self. But how do we make it to the finish line first? It’s not a game about making it first. For me, the winner is the one who had the ability to connect with the power within themselves.
Yes, the winner is the person who has inner success or satisfaction, who feels accomplished and who will apply their insights to other situations of their life. The winner is the one who can feel, own, and celebrate their successes.
The definition of success is different for each of us and depends on our ability to connect with the power within ourselves and lead our life to our very best. Using perspective is what will, nevertheless, enable us to learn through the trial-and-error process and become winners.
Let’s have fun and enjoy this trek of self-improvement and growth—the game in which the winner is the one who has accomplished inner success.
