We all have lenses that allow us to see our world differently
The Lenses we Carry
Our lenses allow us to see life as life and our history showed us things were supposed to be. For example, if you grew up in environments where it was difficult to bring your voice and opinion, every time you need to get those to the surface, you will act in a certain way because of how you see your world. If you find yourself here, you are probably not seeing the 100 percent reality in front of you. In those triggering situations, the meaning you created in the past is brought to the present, and you end up re-creating what happened before. Why? Because your memory will reconnect thoughts and feelings in the same way it did before. There is an actual situation that created a trigger, and that trigger is the one that defines your behavior.
Feeling + thoughts = behavior or performance.
Until you find your root cause and work on it, this will continue.
In contrast to this last example, if you grew up or were exposed to environments where you felt admired and well regarded, you will bring your leadership when sharing your opinion. You will do it with confidence and total trust that you did it before.
Through Awareness, we Create Filters
Being able to develop filters is critical. When using a filter, you can remove the parts that interfere with clarity.
When you can process your interpretations through filters, you organically detach from them and see things for what they are.
You open your mind to observe further.
You better articulate your message focused on what you want to address or share
You take no BS!
This detachment is one thing that brings so much light to my family business clients. This awareness can change the rules of your game.
Environments filled with success are packed with egos and creative minds and, at the same time, are packed with adrenaline and drive. If all this energetic interaction is not aligned, the very best of each of those energies cannot be integrated or amplified. Disfunction brings short circuits. Organizations and individuals lose energy and power when things do not connect well.
Ability to Filter
Having the ability to filter will bring you power and confidence. It will boost your charisma, your leadership, and your influence.
Working with successful families in developing filters, I found four crucial distinctions that play an essential role and amplify their leadership.
1. The ability to read the room vs. Sharing without considering all those involved and what is happening in the present moment.
Applying a filter will also build the skill of reading the room. When you can read the room, you will see reality and what is around you and understand the how, when, who, where, and what has to be addressed or not. Great leaders have a team next to them. You can better influence others to take positive action when you develop the skill of filtering.
Thriving family businesses are the ones that know how to filter and also how to bring a message that can influence others to take an optimistic measure.
2. Connect with the genuine intention vs. Connect with what others want to listen to.
Family business environments are filled with love, and when there is love, the emotional interplay creates a significant short-circuit in the way messages are articulated. In this ecosystem, it is not easy to understand love without the need for validation. The love and the need for validation might create clouds that will not allow the truth to surface.
Successful leaders know they have to agree to disagree, and when having a respectful disagreement, the communication shifts. This respect is one of the key factors that build the capacity and confidence to share polarizing messages. When the person can be present and connected with the genuine intention and brings clarity thoughts, the vision comes out crisp and clear. A well-articulated message is usually respected and understood.
3. Listening to the message being shared vs. giving an understanding based on your opinion of who is sharing the message.
If the listener had their feelings hurt in the past, the mind tends to connect the message's meaning based on an initial impression of who is sharing and not the actual meaning. This disconnect is another critical factor that can bring everyone together or separate people from one another. Thriving family businesses and successful companies understand the importance of communication. They know emotions and feelings need to be left out of the room when important decisions need to be taken. This brings a new air, an oxygen-packed understanding, cooperation, support, and harmony.
4. Harmony through the value of meaningful leadership.
When there is harmony, there is peace. When peace is constant, people can think, reflect, become creative and strategize. Peaceful environments ignite creativity and always make everyone more connected with no triggers.
Successful entrepreneurial families and bright entrepreneurs can only fly higher when their environments are packed with peace and harmony when all parts are aligned. This is the way a space of co-creation and synergy emerges.