Working Out Your Emotional Muscles
Insights from my mastermind intensive, August 2023, Lago Di Como, Italy
To what extent do you allow yourself to expand your range and capacity to handle challenging situations? If you go to the gym, eat well, and work on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, do you also put this energy towards your mental well-being?
This past August, I traveled to Como, Italy, to participate in the bi-annual intensive of my 4pc community of leaders. This group is composed of the most incredible group of leaders from all over the world and is led by my coach, Rich Litvin. This time, we trained on seven emotional resilience muscles. Similar to how you strengthen your body by lifting weights, your brain grows in power when you prioritize deep inner work focused on mastering challenging situations.
We worked hard by expanding our range and boosting our emotional resilience muscles. The focus of my work with my clients is to achieve mastery. In moments of emotional reactivity, by increasing the range and boosting the ability to be present and in silence vs. reacting, they create mental peace.
"When leaders acquire mental stability, they make more impact with their presence and leadership, which carries over more income. '' Transformation truly happens when you are able to create more space for yourself, opening up to work out those silent muscles. This is the path towards a mind working at an executive level. This process enables leaders to connect thoughts differently and to create associations and distinctions outside of their spectrum. The end result is discovering those golden threads that carry on in many situations and acting upon them. The secret lies in raising emotional and mental awareness."
Emotional resilience training requires challenges and work on the following:
1-Challenging one's belief system is essential to personal growth and intellectual development. It's a practice that encourages critical thinking, open-mindedness, and the ability to adapt to new information and perspectives. We can better understand ourselves and the world by examining and questioning our beliefs.
This process unlocks new possibilities and pushes us beyond our comfort zones. You can boost your emotional intelligence by cultivating resilience and overcoming discomfort. Challenging one's belief system is a powerful tool for personal development, improved decision-making, and fostering a deeper understanding of oneself and the world. It's a practice that requires courage, an open mind, and a willingness to embrace discomfort in pursuing growth.
2- Stress inoculation is a concept rooted in psychology and personal development that involves intentionally exposing oneself to challenging and stressful situations in a controlled manner. Stress inoculation aims to gradually build emotional resilience and coping skills, allowing individuals to manage stressors and adversities in their lives better. The idea is similar to how a vaccine introduces a small, controlled amount of a virus into the body to build immunity.
It's important to note that stress inoculation should be approached with care and moderation. Pushing oneself too far or too quickly into highly stressful situations can lead to burnout or exacerbate existing mental health issues. Professional guidance from therapists, coaches, or mentors can be helpful when implementing stress inoculation techniques. Stress inoculation involves deliberately facing and gradually increasing exposure to challenging situations to build emotional resilience, coping skills, and self-confidence. This intentional approach to stress can help individuals better navigate life's challenges and uncertainties.
3- It is difficult to share something you knowingly know will trigger or disappoint you or the other person after hearing it - that truth that will help them to gradually be able to deal with the situation. This will be challenging and needs to be done delicately. It involves balancing honesty and empathy, considering the potential impact on their emotions and well-being.
4- Procrastination can manifest as engaging in less relevant or necessary tasks to avoid tackling more pressing tasks. This phenomenon is also called "productive procrastination." While it might seem like a better alternative to complete avoidance, it can still hinder overall productivity and prevent you from focusing on what truly matters.
5- What is the root cause of your emotional avoidance? You avoid difficult conversations because you do not want pain, headaches, or frustration. If this happens, you probably have a prior conflicting story and past disagreements. Exposing yourself to environments that might be difficult to handle and staying calm, embracing the power of presence and silence, is essential.
Emotional avoidance is avoiding or suppressing uncomfortable emotions, thoughts, or situations. It's a defense mechanism that many people employ to protect themselves from distressing feelings. As mentioned, avoiding difficult conversations can be one manifestation of emotional avoidance. The root causes of emotional release can vary from person to person and often stem from a combination of psychological, emotional, and situational factors.
Remember that change takes time, and breaking the cycle of emotional avoidance requires patience and effort. Embracing difficult emotions and situations can lead to personal growth, improved relationships, and a more authentic way of living.
6- Saying NO, Collecting NOs, and Accepting a NO. No matter what you do, you need to set up an intention, bring your confidence, and be okay if the answer is NO. At the same time, in moments when others are waiting for your reply, be selective and share your NO if you do not feel it. Saying "no" is a crucial skill that involves setting boundaries, prioritizing your well-being, and maintaining authenticity in your interactions. It's essential to approach saying "no" with intention, confidence, and a clear understanding of your limits. It is an essential aspect of self-care and personal growth. It allows you to prioritize your time, energy, and well-being, ultimately leading to more fulfilling and purposeful experiences. You can navigate situations requiring a "no" with grace and authenticity by being intentional, confident, and respectful.
Having the ability to hear NO is also powerful.
The ability to gracefully accept and handle rejection or hearing "no" is a powerful skill. It's a reflection of emotional maturity, resilience, and effective communication. Here's why being able to hear "no" is so essential. It creates a perspective shift, allowing you to focus on what truly matters. Being comfortable with "no" indicates that you understand that not every opportunity or request will align with what you want or how you see it. It reflects integrity, humility, and the ability to maintain professionalism even in the face of disappointment. Embracing the power of "no" allows you to approach challenges with a positive attitude, continuous improvement, and a focus on long-term success.
7- Practice having difficult conversations and interactions with others. If you do not expose yourself to those environments and do not do your reps, you will not have the ability and capacity to handle emotionally charged situations with ease, stay relaxed, be present, and proceed with the situation at your highest and best self.
Remember, the key to success in emotional role-playing is consistent practice and a willingness to learn from each other's experiences. Over time, you'll find that your capacity to handle difficult conversations with mastery becomes second nature, leading to more positive outcomes and better overall emotional well-being.
Every leader thinks that they have a duty to transform their team. The reality is that the first transformation needs to happen within themselves and organically goes down the hierarchical ladder. If you want to change or transform your team or your family, you must first start making those changes yourself. Once you've done your work, you need to be patient and understand that others are still in the same place that they were before.
Through my work, my clients grow in their ability to open up their range, embrace resilience, and become more creative, and at the same time, they open up the spectrum to allow those around them to do the same.
Are you ready for your transformation and to create a world of possibility for those around you?
